Christmas present and past.

As I get older, I naturally fall into a contemplation of what was and what could have been. This is particularly the case with Christmas. For one reason or another, in Canada, Christmas has become the ultimate family event. As families age and children move to homes of their own, obligations require that they celebrate this annual event in places other than what their parents have traditionally called home.

My wife and I spent the first decade alternating Christmases between her folks and mine. Her parents would delay Christmas on the years spent at mine. Now, my wife and I find ourselves in the same situation as our parents, only our children are not separated by a few hundred kilometres, they’re separated by thousands. So, for us to get together at least once over the Christmas holidays isn’t always possible.

The year my daughters were two and four, we spent Christmas at my parents. Nicola had made dresses for both and they kind of looked like dolls. My parents must have spent the previous few months building them doll houses which were as much works of art as toys. Our daughters just loved them and played with them all Christmas day and the next. The following day we had to leave because Nicola’s parents were expecting us in Tumbler Ridge.

The girls in their pretty dresses playing with their new dollhouses

My mother was very upset. All that work and the joy it delivered and now it was over. She made leaving very difficult and I can understand why. She wanted this moment to last forever. Obviously, it can’t but in another way, why shouldn’t it? Life is transitory but does memory have to be? Now, she’s lost her husband and many of her friends and, with little to celebrate in the moment, memory is much of what is left. Memories like those shared with our daughters and with me and my siblings the many years previous.

Christmas the next year at Nicola's parents with a new brother in tow 

We have many ways of celebrating the past most notably Remembrance Day when we recall the sacrifices made by others on our behalf. Both my grandfathers fought in the trenches during World War I as did my father-in-law so I’ve always found this day a little sobering. But what about Christmas? What about good memories of the past? Why couldn’t it be a celebration of the moment for the young people and a celebration of the past for those of us getting a little long in the tooth.

This year, we’re not even celebrating Christmas in our own house. We’re staying at an Airbnb on Vancouver Island where my middle child now resides. My youngest will be joining us and we will also have Nicola’s brother in attendance for Christmas dinner. But, it won’t be as good as past Christmases because my eldest and her husband won’t be in attendance. They’ll be celebrating Christmas in the U.K. with his parents and family who must have felt last year like we do this.

So, this Christmas, I will celebrate the moment as well as feel grateful for all the Christmases of the past. Thus, it’s always be and always will be. Hakuna matata. Have a good Christmas or whatever you celebrate this season.

Friends and family at Christmas dinner last year.